


In The Mirror We See Strangers

by miss_moonstone



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Brainwashing, Consent Issues, F/M, Forced Breeding Program, Gaslighting, Grant Ward is evil, Mentions of Underage Sex, Mind Control, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Red Room, Rumlow and Rollins are not complete dicks, Seduction, Surprise Children, Villian Ward, hydra babies, indoctrination
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:23:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4873195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_moonstone/pseuds/miss_moonstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If a head is cut off, two more will take its place." When SHIELD recruited the Black Widow, HYDRA lost ones of its most skilled operatives-- but Natasha Romanoff wasn’t their only asset. For nineteen years the Red Room raised and trained two new operatives, their genes a combination of the best the world could offer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to ozhawk's chatroom! And a double thank you to my beta, shiniestqueen.

_"Why couldn't they have gone to Spain? Or France. Anywhere but fucking Iowa,"_ Nikolai muttered in Russian. Anastasia rolled her eyes at him as she looked around for traps– Barton was more than paranoid enough to have littered the grounds with them. _"Couldn’t they have sent us in fall, at least,"_ he continued. _"Hide in a corn maze, eh? Give them a good scare."_

_"Hush, Nik. This is a mission. Treat it like one."_

_"Mission, my ass. It’s just bringing home disobedient pups."_ Nik stepped away from her, peering through shrubbery. Ana frowned. She hardly wanted to admit, even to herself, that they’d been sent on such a minor task– but she couldn’t deny the truth of Nik’s words, however crass. The Maximoffs had been led astray, and if the orders were to bring them home, then Ana and Nik could do no less.

If only Nik could keep his mouth shut. _"Come on, Ana,"_ he said, voice just a touch too loud.  _"Let's just get them and go."_

 _"Or not?"_ On instinct, Ana drew her sidearm, whirling around to face the source of the voice– none other than Hawkeye, arrow nocked and expression deadly. Confusion flickered across his face as Ana turned, eyes searching, but his aim remained steady. "...Nat?"

"I'm your worst nightmare, old man," Nikolai snarled in English. In one smooth motion, Nik pulled out a knife and lunged for Barton. Somehow the man was quick enough to swing at Nik, catching him off balance and sending him tumbling to the ground, booted foot firmly between Nik's shoulderblades. Barton kept his arrow trained on her even as he moved, and Ana rifled through her mind for memories, files she’d seen, videos she’d watched-- if he thought she was the Black Widow, the Widow he’ll get.

"You're not going to shoot me, are you, Clint?" she asked, an amused smile painting her lips. His eyes only narrowed.

"You are _not_ Nat." His tone was pure certainty.

 _How does he know?_ was about all Ana had time to wonder before he shot her gun right out of her hand. In a blurring motion almost too fast to see he whipped another arrow out, had it fitted to the string and pointing at her heart. "Start talking, Red. Who are you, and why do you look like somebody cloned Nat?"

 _Shit._ "Barton." Ana swallowed, then spoke again, adding a faint rasp to her voice as her mental riffling grew more frantic– what had she done wrong?– "This is all just a misunderstanding."

His frown only deepened in response, bow drawing tighter. Ana twitched her fingers, gauging the distance from her to Nik, calculating the movements necessary to dislodge the archer and retreat with her brother. She shifted back on her heel, just the slightest bit–

There was a sudden whoosh of air and then a very familiar face grinning at her. "Ah, Pietro. I was hoping for a miracle." Ana watched for a change in body language, a different glint in his eyes – something. _Why isn't he responding? This is supposed to work._

"You were? Sorry, not today," was his answer, giving her a smug look.

Ana took a shaky breath, carefully controlling her expression.

"Nothing more terrifying than a miracle," Nik ground out from beneath Clint’s boot. Ana let her eyes drift to him for the briefest of moments, before returning her gaze to Pietro’s growing smirk. Well, all options haven't been exhausted.

Ana took a deep breath, ignoring the way Pietro darted around her like an irritating mosquito. Her eyes narrowed further at Barton as the man pressed his boot down more into Nik's back, the latter groaning in pain. If her brother was compromised, she would have the Avenger's head.

"Pietro," Ana said, voice low, injecting it with all the confidence she could muster. "Remember why you were chosen." He stopped his blur of movement, blinking back at her. Ana let a smile twitch to her lips with a surge of victory. Of course. She’d known they could _never_ get rid of that one.

"I’m sorry for this, my dear." The soft, familiar voice came from behind her. Ana tried to turn as darkness descended around her, frantically calling out to her brother as it swallowed her.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Ana woke, she knew _something_ wasn't quite right. She kept her eyes closed listening for anything hostile. Instead she heard...quiet laughter? Her hands tightened convulsively. Beneath her fingers she felt well-worn cloth...a quilt. She sat up slowly, cautiously opening her eyes. Nik was on the floor, wrestling with a large dog; it had golden brown fur and was missing one of its eyes.

 _"What's wrong?"_ Nik asked her. He gently pushed the dog away and knelt in front of Ana. She could see the worry in his eyes as he took her smaller hands in his, his expression descending into a frown as he took in the odd expression on her features.

 _"I feel...strange...?"_ Ana's voice was shaky, more vulnerable than she'd ever heard in her life. This wasn't her; she wasn't a scared little girl. She was the quick thinker, the one that got them out of tight spots. Why did her mind feel so heavy, so wrong?

 _"What the hell did she do to you?"_ Nik growled. Ana watched helplessly as her brother stalked out of the room. She slowly stood and followed, keeping her hand along the wall. _This isn't right. There's something VERY wrong here..._

 _He must mean Wanda,_ Ana finally pieced together as she trailed Nik down the hall. There was a faint memory of hearing Wanda’s voice behind her before the world went dark.... but what could Wanda have actually done to her? She felt no pain. Ana wracked her brain for a clue as she wandered down the stairs into what looked like the kitchen. To her horror, Nik was towering over Wanda, his expression one of loathing and rage.

Nothing seemed right here. This was a Nik she didn't know; the real Nikolai wouldn't threaten to hurt Wanda. They were friends. Allies. Ana tried to think-- there must be some logical explanation for _why_ Nik was behaving the way he was.

She could recall that she and Nik had been here to recover Wanda and Pietro, but why? What had they done that was so bad?

Wanda turned to look at her then, ignoring Nik despite the way he loomed over her smaller frame, a small smile on her lips, her eyes searching."Do you remember, Ana?" she said in her soft, lilting voice."You need to remember." Red light flashed in her eyes, and Ana flung out a hand, bracing herself on the doorframe as reality slid out from under her.

_All at once she found herself standing in the middle of a more modern kitchen, a woman she had all but forgotten watching her, concern in her eyes._

_"What's wrong, golubka?" the woman asked. Ana stared, baffled. How long had it been since she’d seen this face–fifteen? Fifteen years since she had last seen the woman, lifeless at the feet of a HYDRA soldier. Ana cocked her head, not sure what to make of what she was seeing. This was Mama, the woman who had raised her and Nik during their youngest years._

_"You're supposed to be dead. I saw you!" she shouted. Familiar footsteps came up behind her. Mama stepped toward her, offering a smile– no. They’d killed Mama._

_"You don't remember, Ana? Mama outsmarted them, saved us from that horrible life." This was wrong. This was absolutely WRONG. This wasn't Nik, and Mama most definitely wasn't alive. Nik wasn't reasonable, not like this–Nik trying to convince her of something was loud, passionate._

_A knock at the door startled her from her thoughts._

_"Sounds like your konfetka is here. Why don't you invite him in?" Ana slowly moved towards the door. This was wrong. She had no one but Nik._

_When she opened the door, her blood ran cold. “You found me,” she whispered._

_"Hey, baby. Been lookin' all over for you." Ward's predatory smile as he stepped into the house was the last thing Ana saw as she was yanked back to reality._

~~~~~~~~~~

Ana stumbled forward as the vision disappeared, straight into Nik's arms. She was breathing heavily, eyes wide with fear. She stared at Wanda for a long few moments before burying her face in Nik's shoulder. _I'm not supposed to crumble; I'm made of steel._

"Are you out of your mind? You've destroyed her," Nik snarled at Wanda.

"Hey! No fighting in the kitchen, kid, it’s a bitch to clean up." Nik's head snapped over to glare at Barton.

"You know what, old man? You need to butt out of my business," he growled. "Nobody asked you to ruin my mission."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "Here I thought it was supposed to be a joint effort. Looked like your sister was doing all the work."

That _definitely_ hit a nerve. Gritting his teeth, Nik hauled Ana into a standing position. _"We have to go. Now."_

Ana nodded, grabbing her brother's arm. Instead of leading her by her arm, Nik picked her up into a fireman's carry. She would have protested, but some instinct told her not to resist, that she wouldn't be able to keep up. Nik stalked towards the door, almost there when Pietro blocked his way.

"Pietro, stop. He will not listen," came Wanda's voice. Ana lifted her head, looking at Wanda. She could see the conflicted emotions in the other girl's eyes. Barton only watched her, analyzing her. She couldn't blame him; she was a monster, a threat. No matter how much Wanda had changed, it didn’t mean Ana would ever be anything but a weapon.

Ana could feel Nik's body language soften minutely, the way the muscles in his shoulder relaxed. _"Play along,"_ Nik whispered to her, letting her slip to the ground.

"Come now, Nikica. Cool your head and think for once, eh?” Pietro’s tone was no less sarcastic than they remembered it, but there was something kind in it as well.

"I just want to protect her, Pietro. I can't do that here. Peace?" Nik rumbled. He stuck his hand, body-language carefully calculate to display cautious friendliness. _Don't do it,_ Ana thought. _Don't be stupid, Pietro, please._

Pietro took Nik's hand and was wrenched forward a moment later, nose connecting with Nik's forehead. He groaned, stumbling back.

Nik grinned just as Barton walked up behind him, an audible click sounded right behind his head. Ana's eye widened at the sight of Wanda's hands aglow, red light floating. _"Ana, come with me. We can fix this,"_ her brother said softly.

 _"Nik... I'm safe here,"_ Ana said softly. _"But if you need to leave…go. I understand."_ His entire demeanor changed as she spoke, the arrogant front falling, leaving behind only a lost boy.

 _"...you want me to leave…?”_ He covered the wounded look quickly, but Ana could still see it in his eyes. _“Fine,”_ he growled as he backed towards the door _“I hope you're right."_ With that, he turned and bolted.

"I think he broke my nose," Pietro grumbled, voice nasal and whistling. He stood as still as possible as his twin assessed the injury.

"I'm sick of HYDRA's punk-ass little shits," Hawkeye mumbled before taking off after Nik.

By the time he returned, Ana was seated at the kitchen table, a blanket draped around her shoulders and a mug of tea in front of her, Pietro sitting across from her with an ice pack held to his nose.

"Little fucker's too fast. What the hell did they pump him up with?" Hawkeye was addressing Ana, but Wanda answered.

"The usual enhancements given to HYDRA soldiers. His genetics only added to that."

Ana looked up at Wanda, clearing her throat. "What did you do to me? Something's wrong."

Wanda kneeled down in front of Ana, reaching for her hands. Ana hesitantly complied, looking between the three people surrounding her.

"I helped you, Ana. I... I sheltered you, from all that rage, that pain..."

"You taught me rage! Stark–"

"I learned. The people who sent us are wrong, _dragi._ They've always been wrong. I can help you see."

"You mean to change me more." Ana's eye hardened, untrusting of the girl she once considered her sister.

Wanda sighed, a sad sound. "Perhaps it was wrong, but would you have listened any other way?"

"I might not listen now." Ana pulled her hands from Wanda's grasp. She couldn't walk away, not yet. A base part of herself told her to listen, but she also didn't want to.

"But you're still here, _sestra._ If nothing else, I have that."

Ana couldn't say anything to that. She was still here, still listening. She didn't feel angry, though. That was Nik's job. She just wanted things to be back the way they were. It was simple, just her and Nik.

Wanda stood up and gestured to Pietro and Barton. Ana watched silently as the small group exited the kitchen. Whether it was for them to confer privately or to give her a moment of peace to reflect upon everything that had just occurred, she wasn’t entirely certain.

Staring down into her mug of tea Ana was lost in her own world, her mind whirling as she contemplated Wanda’s words. A loud knock echoed through the silent farmhouse, jerking Ana from her reverie. She waited to see whether or not one of her hosts would answer the door.

When they didn't, Ana slowly stood up, making her way over with the blanket still draped around her shoulders. _Is this a test? Why aren't they stopping me?_ As she reached for the handle, the door swung open. For a moment Ana’s mind, still fuzzy, thought it was Barton and the Maximoffs; after a moment she realized she was staring up at Captain America. Her eyes darted to the figures behind him. Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, and–

Ana stumbled backwards, eyes wide with fear. _No. I'm supposed to be safe. Why is he here? No, no, no..._

Captain America's eyebrows arched as he glanced from Ana to the Black Widow.

"I don’t suppose when he called that Clint mentioned one of his ‘guests’ could pass for you in a pinch?" he slowly asked Widow, voice tight.

"No, and we might need to have words about lack of information," the Widow responded, not taking her eyes from Ana’s. They were, Ana noted in the part of her mind not currently screaming, exactly the same color.

The third figure climbed the steps slowly, every heavy tread of his boots like a fist wrapped around her heart. She knew she should run, but her every muscle was locked, her fingers trembling where they held the blanket together. He hadn’t changed in seven years. His dark hair was tied back from his face, and he wore civilian clothes, but the same bright blue eyes stared at her. Ana swallowed against the terror rising in her throat, bile on the back of her tongue. The Winter Soldier leaned past Captain America and the Black Widow, mouth set in a hard line.

"...who,” he rasped, "the _fuck_ is this?"

For a moment, the world was very still, and Ana felt as though she could feel time itself pause. She blinked back at him.

Then, for the first time in her life, Anastasia Lucaovna Ivanova dropped to the floor in a dead faint.

 


	2. Chapter 2

It **never** should have happened. Missions never went sour. Maybe for normal agents... but **he** wasn't normal.

Nikolai made his way to the pre-determined extraction point one mile from Barton's property line, after a few minutes spent losing Hawkeye from his tail.

 _You only succeeded because of her. Now you're nothing_. Nik gritted and teeth and shook his head. _No. I'm the best goddamn agent HYDRA has. …I **am**..._

Taking a deep breath, Nik pulled out a burner phone, dialing the number he wished he'd never have to use. The phone was answered before the first ring ended, and the voice on the other end was familiar – and just the voice he didn’t want to hear. "Sir?"

"Grand Duchess is down. Requesting immediate extraction."

"Sir, you specifically said–"

"Did I stutter, Agent Larson? "

"N-no, sir. Extraction on it's way."

Twenty minutes later, a rope ladder dropped down in front of Nik. He jumped, grabbing hold of a lower rung as a couple agents pulled him up and into the quinjet.

"Where's the Grand Duchess?" called Larson from across the way, his voice far too eager for Nik's liking. He suppressed the urge to jump up and strangle the bastard. It wasn't the first time he'd caught the lustful tone in the agent's voice.

For once, Nik found the strength to ignore him. "Return to base."

His orders were quickly obeyed, and the quinjet crew gave him a wide berth. Nik ignored them, sitting on the bench along the wall. He wouldn’t put his head in his hands, no matter how he felt; he refused to let the cannon-fodder see him in a less than perfect state.

Even staring blankly at the opposite wall, though, his mind tried to play tricks on him. The things he refused to think about kept crawling in from the edges.

Ana, crumpling to the ground. Ana, waking with a blank expression, so unnatural on a face that was always sharp and cunning. Ana, telling him to go.

 **Fuck**. Telling him to **go**.

It’s back upon him before he can blink.

_Nik watched in horror as the bullets ripped through his twin's body. He screamed out in agony as her body went limp and collapsed to the ground, her hand reaching uselessly towards him as she fell. Except – no, it wasn't Ana, it was Lillian, his Lilli, laying lifeless as her face veil flickered and seemed to disappear. "No. Please no," he whispered._

_He didn't realize he was crying until a soft, familiar voice came from behind him. "Cut it out, Ivanov."_

_Nik whirled, knife at the ready and heart pounding – only to have that heart shatter. There his twin stood, arm wrapped around that disgusting grunt’s waist, Agent Larson. "Ana, what–"_

_"No one needs you, Nik.” She said it with a smile, one that spoke only of pity. There was no trace of affection in her eyes. "You're a failure, brother. You should go. Leave, and never come back."_

~~~~~~~~~~

"Agent Ivanov, sir, we're landing." One of the techs, some bland-faced woman with a name Nik didn't bother to remember, was standing near him clutching a clipboard. He could never remember any of their names. He only remembered Larson because of the idiot's obsession with Ana.

He was barely off the quinjet ramp when he heard a familiar feminine voice. "Nikolai."

He suppressed the grin that was trying to make its way to the surface. "Lillian."

"Where's the Grand Duchess?" she asked. The reminder shot through him like lightning, shutting down the heated thoughts that Lilli always sparked in him. He gritted his teeth as he approached the eye-scanner, stooping a little in front of it. He stood up straight when the machine rang out: _"Ivanov, Nikolai Y."_

"Mission didn't go as planned. Ana chose to stay behind and break them down." His voice was utterly steady, even dismissive. _If only that was true. Damn witch._ He stood back as Lili stepped up to the scanner, then turned to him with an appraising look.

“ _Detka_ , no.” She ignored him, adamant that he needed to be examined at medical before debriefing. He couldn’t help the roll of his eyes, but he did see the logic behind it: he couldn't know what else the Maximoffs and Barton had done to him while he was unconscious.

"Apart from a bruise, Agent Ivanov, you are perfectly healthy," the doctor told him. Nodding, Nik tugged his shirt back on. He hadn't expected anything else.

"I told you," he muttered to Lilli. She swatted at his head, but he ducked away. "I’ve got to go debrief, but I'll meet you in a bit."

Lilli's grey eyes twinkled up at him."Oh, I don’t know about that. I’ve got so much paperwork to do…"

Nik slid a hand around her waist, turning and pushing her against the wall, his other arm bracing beside her head. Lilli only smiled up at him, tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip.

"Minx," he growled. "My quarters have a table. Do your paperwork there. And if you are wearing a little **less** when I get there..." He plucked at the soft, plain shirt she wore."You might even enjoy the consequences."

She blinked rapidly, glancing away, as if it would stop him from seeing the dark look in her eyes.

"Fine," she muttered, obviously trying for sullen, but the amused undercurrent was plain. "I suppose I’ll go to your quarters, then."

Nik just smirked, pushing away and heading for his debriefing. _More like interrogation…_ The distraction of flirting with Lilli faded quickly, thoughts of the botched mission – **Ana** – filling his mind once more.

When he stepped foot in the conference room, Nik only expected Rumlow and Rollins. What he didn't expect was another man, younger. _Early thirties,_ Nik guessed.

"Didn't expect you back so soon," Rumlow said as Rollins clapped Nik on the shoulder. Nik would have gladly spoken with his mentors if it wasn't for the unfamiliar face.

"No time for pleasantries. Report, Ivanoff." _Could at least say my name right. Whatever. Might as well get this over with._

"The Maximoffs were more prepared than we expected. The Avengers have weeded out all trigger phrases. Anastasia chose to remain there and infiltrate."

"And you saw fit to abandon her?" The new man spoke again. The muscle in Nik's jaw tightened. _Who the fuck does this guy think he is?_

"I didn't abandon her, **sir**. She can hold her own." Nik fought to keep his temper in check. "My sister will break them down from the inside. Gain their trust. That’s what she’s **good** at."

The man’s mouth twisted into a knowing smirk that had Nik digging his fingers into his thighs to keep from punching it from his face. "I'm aware."

"With all due respect, go easy on him, Ward. Kid's worried about his sister," Rumlow said. _Seriously, how is this guy even in charge?_ Nik surveyed the unknown man, some distant memory tugging at him.

"Not worried enough, obviously." The man – Ward – put his hands flat on the table, leaning forward and narrowing his eyes at Nik. Bah. As if Nik would find him threatening in the least.

Nik opened his mouth to respond, fury bubbling inside him, but Rollins nudged the table into him before he could speak. Nik cast a suspicious glance at the man. Rollins didn’t trip. Ever. But the point was made – Nik swallowed his irritation, _for now_ , and recited the events of the mission in as dull a tone as he could muster.

"I see,” Ward said, when Nik fell silent After a long pause, the man continued. “You're dismissed, Ivanoff." Nik could hear the quiet anger seething in hiss voice. It made his fists itch to strike something. Who was he, to be angry with **Nik** that Ana was still at Barton’s farm – and without knowing the full truth? Nik was the only one who had a right to be hurt, to be angry. Nik took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself.

"Yes, sir," he managed to mutter, before stalking out of the conference room. _At least I have **something** to look forward to._

~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on, Nik?"

Nik sighed, laying his head back against the pillow, one arm draped over Lili’s bare shoulders. Sometimes he hated that she was so perceptive. "If I tell you, it stays in this room, _krasivaya_."

"Of course," she said, not even pretending offence. She rolled to her side and rested her chin in her hand, face utterly serious.

Nik took a deep breath."Wanda Maximoff... **warped** Ana's mind. The Ana I know, the Ana I love, is no longer there. She told me to leave her behind, Lilli!"

"It's not like that hasn't happened before. Ana's lagged behind in the past." Lili searched his eyes, concern plain in hers.

"You didn't see her. Her face was almost...innocent. I left behind a lost little girl, not an agent. And I did it anyway, I left. She told me to go and– and–"

Lilli laid a hand against his cheek and Nik turned into it, blinking away the sharp feeling in his eyes. Despite everything, her touch was a balm, and he felt muscles relax that he didn’t remember tensing.

"The Ana **I** know will work through it.” she said, offering him a smile. “You'll see. Have more faith, darling."

"I'm not so sure this time, Lili. _Alaya Ved'ma_ was in her head. Who knows what she did in there?"

“Nothing you can do anything about right now. Go to sleep, Nikolai. Give her time. You can always gallop in like the rescuing hero, if it all goes wrong.” She suited her actions to her words, laying her head on his chest and giving an exaggerated snore.

“I guess,” Nik muttered. He shifted in the bed, closing his eyes, but despite the comfort of Lili in his arms, he didn’t sleep at all.

 

 

 

 

**Russian Translations**

_Detka_ \- Babe

 _Krasivaya_ \- Beautiful

 _Alaya Ved'ma_ \- Scarlet Witch


	3. Chapter 3

"You gonna wake up anytime soon, kid?" The voice was masculine, but not threatening.

Ana's first instinct was to lash out, her training kicking in. She opened her eyes, confused when her hand didn't meet flesh– instead her wrist was caught in an iron grip. She opened her eyes slowly. Sitting next to the bed was Captain America, a touch of amusement softening his serious expression.

"I can do this all day. You gonna hit me again, or do you wanna talk?"

Ana let her arm fall, fingers playing with loose threads on the quilt draped over her. "I don't want to talk," she whispered. “I don't want to fight anymore.”

He tilted his head, eyes moving along her body and back to her face. It wasn’t the desirous looks she sometimes got from low-level agents; it was remote, assessing. It was strange to be on the receiving end of it, for once.His eyes held a hint of something she couldn’t place– pity? _Why would he pity me? I embody what he fights against. I'm a monster, a traitor._

"You don't have to fight. No one's asking you to."

"Is he still here? The Asset?" her voice betrayed her, quivering. _I wouldn't be alive if he was... But I have to make sure._

“Asset.” It was a statement, not a question, and the softness dropped away like it had never been there. “I think you mean **Bucky**. Yeah. He’s here.”

Ana moved quickly, trying to put as much distance as possible between her and the door, between her and captivity, between her and death.

"Kid, you need to calm down. No one's gonna hurt you." The man stood up slowly, keeping eye contact with her.

"You don't understand! They must have sent him to return me. If he can't do that, then he'll put me down," she burst out, wetness pricking at her eyes. Not here, don’t cry here.

"Bucky's not gonna take you anywhere. I promise," he soothed, approaching her. “ **They** didn’t send him. He’s with me – with **us** now.”

Still cringing back terrified, the Captain paused, his head cocking to one side before he asked in a gentle tone “Are you hungry? There’s food in the other room, but the others are in there. I could bring some in here for you, if you wanted.”

She nodded. “In here. Please.” Not that she intended to eat or drink anything. It would be far too easy for them to drug her. But it would get him out of the room for a minute, enable her to start looking for an escape route.

Ana waited until the Captain was a safe distance out of the room before she started to inspect it. There had to be some way to escape. Unfortunately, the only escape route there seemed to be was a rather small window with squeaky rails. Well, she was slim. She edged the window open carefully, cursing under her breath when it jammed. She managed to wiggle part of the way out the window when she got stuck, her torso sticking outside. Normally, she would've worked her way through it, except she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She sighed, realizing how ridiculous she must look.

_This is very unfortunate._

“Need a hand there?” Steve’s amused voice said behind her.

“Please,” she closed her eyes in humiliation.

Powerful hands opened the stuck window easily and helped her back inside. Scarlet-faced, Ana grabbed the mug of tea he offered and took a gulp without even thinking, before freezing with horror, as much at her lack of caution as the action itself.

"There's nothing but tea in it, Ana. Can I call you Ana? Wanda and Pietro tell me that's your name."

Ana scowled. "Only my friends call me Ana," she muttered before she took a wary sip. _I shouldn't trust him._

"Okay. Well, I'm Steve. What should I call you?" the Captain asked, arms folded across his chest.

"My name is Anastasia Ivanova. **You** may call me the Grand Duchess, Captain," Ana said, mustering a small smile. Normally controlling her expression as was simple as breathing, but the look in his eyes told her how obviously fake the smile was.

The man raised an eyebrow. "...a little pretentious, but if that's what you prefer."

Ana scoffed. "That's rich, coming from the man that dresses like a giant target."

To her annoyance, Steve laughed. “Touché, Grand Duchess!” He propped a hip against the dresser, folded his arms and looked so relaxed and comfortable that she wanted to slap him.

She settled for glaring at him, setting the cup down on the windowsill with a thunk. “What are you planning to do with me?”

“That’s up to you, Duchess." There was no mockery in the way he spoke, and his blue eyes were serious. “Wanda says that you might be... **amenable** to leaving your current employment, but we also understand that there may be issues for you, regarding your twin. Nikolai, right?”

"I'm not employed, Captain. I barely exist. The only records you’ll find are false ones, and they’re no loss to me."

“Then you shouldn’t be missed.”

 _Well, that’s not exactly true,_ she thought. But it was hard to argue with the statement, too. “And what would I do if I… changed employment?” His terminology was sufficiently vague that she borrowed it rather than be more specific.

“Well, that depends,” he answered in an even tone. “There are some things that we need to know first, to help us figure that out.”

Ana sighed. “Well…”

“No one’s going to hurt you. I promise.”

“Alright. I guess.” _Speaking with them won’t hurt. As if I couldn’t dance circles around some idiot soldiers and agents anyway..._

Still all politeness, the Captain offered Ana his arm. She took it, allowing him to lead her downstairs. Her body went tense when she caught sight of the Asset, but she kept walking.

" _Sit,_ " the assassin growled at her in Russian, gesturing at one of the chairs at the dining room table.

" _I'm not a dog_ ," Ana spat back. She knew he could kill her easily, but he hadn't done so when she was an easy target. She took a breath to calm the panic threatening to rise. "I will talk. But not to her." Ana's eyes darted to Wanda. _Traitor. Meddler._

Ana allowed herself a satisfied smile when Wanda's expression went from neutral to hurt. _Get out of my head, bitch._

"What did you say to her, Ana?" Pietro glared at her from his position across the room.

"You aren't allowed to call me that anymore," she growled. "I told her to get out of my head."

"Pietro, don't. She doesn't understand," Wanda whispered. Pietro wrapped a protective arm around Wanda's shoulders and led her from the room.

Ana turned her head so that Steve was in her line of vision. "I want to trust you, I really do. But treating me like a prisoner isn't helping, Captain."

"You're not tied up," came Hawkeye's voice, accompanied by the **thunk** of a dart on the dartboard.

"When we can trust you **not** to run away or attack someone, we can stop treating you like a prisoner," Steve answered.

Ana scoffed. "Fine. What would you like to know?" Her eyes stopped on the remaining people surrounding her: the Captain, directly in front of her, the Black Widow to his left, and the Asset to his right. She suppressed a shiver; she’d forgotten Romanoff, somehow; certainly she could outsmart a soldier and a mind-wiped asset, but…

"Who's your leader?"

Ana took a deep breath inclined her head towards the Black Widow. _No lies. She’ll catch lies. Be clever, Ana._ "Grant Ward." She wasn't disappointed at the lack of reaction; the Black Widow had been trained not to react outwardly unless she chose to. It was the same training Ana had received herself.

Hawkeye paused, dart forgotten in his hand for a moment. "I recognize that name," he said, stepping closer.

"A Specialist. Excelled at everything...save for people skills," Black Widow supplied.

"He's still young, though, isn’t he? In his thirties." Hawkeye and Black Widow traded glances. "Is HYDRA's leadership that obliterated?"

"Is he enhanced?" The Captain glanced at the Asset, brows furrowing. "We know HYDRA has the capability."

"What about base locations?" Hawkeye asked her, throwing the dart in his hand without looking at the board. It struck the bullseye as he turned and pulled a chair from the table, flipping it around before he sat in it and crossed his arms over the back.

Ana laughed. "You must know I can't answer that. I have to keep **some** secrets."

"All right. What about missions? We know you were sent here to retrieve Wanda and Pietro," the Captain tried.

"I'm afraid HYDRA is extremely compartmentalized. Need-to-know basis, Captain. I'm sure you can understand that."

The Asset snorted. "So you're deaf to everything the others say, are you, doll?"

Ana narrowed her eyes. "It gets rather loud. Easier to tune the cannon-fodder out and focus on what's important: **my** missions."

"So you never heard anything important that didn't directly pertain to you? My, my. What selective hearing you have," the Black Widow murmured.

Hawkeye scoffed. "Even Barnes was able to give us information, and wasn’t awake for most of the century."

Ana glanced at the Asset. _Please don't kill me for this._ "They were careless with him. They could just wipe him again before putting him on ice… what need did they have to hold their tongues?" The Asset snarled at her, making Ana tense up.

"Bucky," came the Captain's voice, stern.

"Yes,” the Widow agreed. “HYDRA is often careless with its assets. You might be concerned that your brother is in their hands."

Ana closed her eyes, teeth worrying at her lower lip. _Damn it all to hell._ "You don't understand. If I say anymore, I'm as good as dead. **Nik** is as good as dead."

There was a moment of tense silence, broken suddenly by the hum of a vibrating phone. Ana watched blank-faced as the Black Widow fished out a cell, listening for the other side of the conversation.

"This better be important, Stark."

" _Birdbrains called earlier asking about your mini-me. Guess I forgot to mention it, but hey– better late than never, right? Sending you all the file now._ " The Widow pulled the phone from her ear as the call ended, tapping something on the screen with her thumb. It wasn't long before the she looked up from her phone, expression unreadable The Captain did the same a moment later, his hands clenching tightly into fists as he leant over muttering something to the Asset. Hawkeye was still reading when:

“The fuck, Steve?” The Asset jerked away, turning to glare at Captain America.

"Buck, her brother looks just like you!" Ana silently watched the Asset turn, and cross to the wall. She flinched as the Asset's metal fist suddenly lashed out in a swift punch and easily went through the kitchen wall.

"What the **fuck** do you mean this kid's my daughter?"

A shocked whimper escaped Ana before she clenched her teeth together. _They're tricking me. It can't be true. It doesn't make sense._ She reached for a layer of training, desperate to pull it over herself like a comforting blanket, but the gears of her mind were silent and still. She took a deep breath, and another; opened her mouth to argue, but instead a plaintive cry fell from her lips.

"You're **lying**!"

Wordlessly, the Black Widow slid her phone across the table. Ana picked it up with trembling fingers. The room remained silent as she read, until she set the device back down with excruciatingly precise gentleness.

She couldn't bring herself to speak.

A fist slammed into the table and the Asset was just **there** beside her.

"You know what happens to **failed assets** , kid? It ain't pretty. So why don't you suck it up and help us do something **good**?" He fell silent, scowling at her.

Ana was horrified when she realized tears were dripping down her cheeks. _Pull it together. You're not helpless._ "If they find out I've defected, Nik's dead. You have to know that," she whispered, hating that her stress and fear had bled into her voice.

"If you help us, we can protect you both," the Captain said. Ana's eyes snapped to his. If she could trust anyone here, it would be him.

" **Please**. I'll help you if you keep him safe."


	4. Chapter 4

_Ana admired her reflection in the mirror: her hair had never been done so elegantly before, in an intricately braided bun, her body clad in the most beautiful pale blue dress she’d ever seen. A distant memory tugged at her. She’d had a dress just like this, on that mission in DC. It was practically identical, down to the tiny twist in the hem, technically a flaw but something she had liked in it, proof that nothing is ever truly perfect. But it couldn’t be the same dress; that dress was ruined, a bloody mess. The senator had bled like a stuck pig when she cut his throat._

_"It's time, darling!" came Lilli's voice. Ana turned and watched as the blonde woman approached. She frowned. Lilli was wearing a blush-pink dress. Ana despised pink, Lilli knew that._

_"Nik, come look! Ana is so beautiful!" A few moments later, Nik stepped into the room, darkly handsome in a tuxedo. She smiled fondly as he tugged at the collar._

_"Damned monkey suit," he muttered._

_"You need to look nice for Ana's big day!" Lilli scolded him as she readjusted his tie. Ana couldn't help but notice the flashy diamond engagement ring on Lilli's finger. She fought to keep her expression neutral; both Lilli and Nik had expressed to her before that they would **never** get married._

_Once his tie was fixed, Ana took Nik's arm, allowing him to lead her out of the dressing room. Curious, she peeked out into the chapel, trying her best to see who was attending. She frowned as a man that looked like Christian Ward smiled at her._

_Nik didn't seem to notice."You really do look beautiful. He's going to be speechless," he whispered in her ear._

_“Who's going to be speechless?” Ana blinked, her attention returning to her twin instantly, brow furrowing in confusion. Nik laughed, patting her hand._

_“Cute, Ana. Don’t tell me the cold feet have finally arrived? It’s a bit late to back out now, nebol'shoy popugay.”_

_“I don’t…” She blinked, looking around the chapel and then at her dress. “Oh… I… I’m getting married, aren’t I?”_

_“You’ve only been talking about it for months. Come on, it’s about to start.” Nik moved forward, so quickly that Ana stumbled. Music started to play, familiar music; she couldn’t place the instrument, but it sounded almost like someone humming._

_“Nik, I don’t feel well. Let me go…” Nik only smiled down at her, affection sloppily painted over something harder in his features, something she couldn’t place. Something Nik had surely never aimed at **her**._

_“Too late for that now. Come on, he’s waiting.”_

_Ana wanted to ask **who** was waiting, but she didn't need to. Her eyes widened as she came to a stop beside him, using all of her willpower to keep from shaking._

_"You look beautiful, baby," Ward murmured in her ear; she felt filthy as he took her hands. Mock-tenderness barely masked something much darker in his eyes. Her instincts screamed at her to run, but one look at Nik told her she wouldn't make it the doors. She was trapped._

_As if that wasn't enough, she had to look down. The dress wasn't beautiful and pristine anymore; it was barely even a dress, blood staining the fabric. Her eyes turned to the guests, and to her horror she realized every single person in attendance had been one of her unlucky victims._

Ana's eyes flew open, her upper body bolting upright. The quilt crumpled between her clenched fingers as her eyes darted around, panting. _It’s okay. I'm okay. It was just a dream._ Ana shivered, checking her left hand. For a moment, the dream had felt like a sick reality.

After a few moments she summoned the strength to rise, palm flat against the wall as she made her way down into the kitchen. Maybe a glass of water would clear her head.

Still dazed from the terror in her dream, her senses were dampened. She was almost to the sink when someone cleared their throat. Ana spun, grasping for her weapons, a knife, anything– then she remembered that her hosts had taken all her weapons away.

"I don't sleep well either," the Winter Soldier said. She positioned herself so that she could fill her glass while having an eye on the man, staying silent.

The Soldier shrugged, inching around her towards the coffee pot. Ana raised her eyebrows. "I'm sure caffeine doesn't help," she finally said, allowing a hint of amusement to creep into her voice.

He grinned, a peculiar expression on the his hard face – but one that achingly reminded her of Nik. His absence felt like a gaping void inside her soul, even though it had been less than a day. "Doesn't affect me,” the Soldier replied, “but I like the taste. Want some?"

Ana mustered a smile, strangely hard-pressed to keep the mask of indifference up. "No thanks. I'm more of a vodka kind of girl," she said, sipping at her water.

The Soldier snorted, arching an eyebrow after giving her a brief once-over. "Are you even old enough to drink?"

 _Well, both my parents are infamous super-soldiers, didn’t you know?_ She fought to keep her face neutral, and instead leaned back against the counter and murmured: "When you're raised Russian, you build up your tolerance early."

He paused, mug almost to his lips, before barking out a laugh and shaking his head. "Natalia's daughter, indeed." He hesitated a moment, then: "She has some of the good stuff in the freezer. If you want."

Ana cocked her head, considering. "I doubt she'd take kindly to that."

He shrugged, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "Suit yourself. Want to talk? Up to you. I can leave you alone, if you'd rather. But – since you're apparently my daughter, I guess I should try and be...a father. Listen to your problems or something."

Ana laughed, a bitter note she couldn’t suppress threading through it. "Too many problems for one night," she said, sitting down across from him.

"You could start with just one. Whatever's got you down here in the middle of the night, perhaps?" He seemed to think about that for a moment. "Or not. Something else, if that's too much."

Ana snorted. "Oh, have they been re-training you as a therapist?"

He smiled that **Nik** smile again that made her heart ache. "You spend enough time with the shrinks, you pick up a few of their techniques."

Ana released a heavy sigh. "I dreamed...I was getting married. Which is ridiculous. What would be the point? I'd never marry **him** , anyways."

"Him?" The Soldier raised his eyebrows, expression one of curiousity.

"My trainer," she answered.

“Kind of an odd choice for your dreams to come up with, kid. Had a crush on him or something?”

She made a dismissive noise. “ **No**. It’s only because of what he taught me.”

He blinked. “...I don’t follow?”

“Seduction,” she said, shrugging. “Manipulation. Sex. How to adapt to what people want, how to get inside their minds. That’s what I’m meant f–”

Her eyes darted to his metal hand as it formed a fist, gears whirring and clicking. The rest of the words were caught in her throat as a stab of fear shot through her with those sounds.

Sensing her fear, the Soldier stilled his movements, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “You’re scared of him." It wasn’t a question.

"I'm scared of **you** ," she shot back. It was hard enough believing he wasn't here to kill her; something in her rebelled entirely at telling him all her fears and secrets.

Bucky watched her for a moment before finally: "I know it's going to be impossible to make you believe right now, but I seriously doubt I could ever bring myself to hurt you."

Tears stung her eyes abruptly, spilling onto her cheeks before she could dash them away, and Ana cursed herself inwardly. _Weak. Why must I be so weak? Stupid Sokovian whore **broke** me. _ "Knowing it's just conditioning doesn't make it go away," she snarled.

"It takes time, and work," the Soldier said. He started to reach out with his flesh hand but stopped, letting it drop softly to the table. "Steve said that you told him to call you the Grand Duchess. You have a real name?" His blue eyes searched hers, a smile lurking at the corners of his mouth. Of course he already knew; her full name was in the file. _At least he does the kindness of asking._

She swallowed, throat suddenly dry. "Call me Anastasia."

"Only if you call me Bucky." He pushed back from the table. “Here, I’m gettin’ more coffee, you want another glass of water?” Ana nodded and held out her glass. She didn’t have a smile in her, not now, but she offered him a tired but pleasant expression as he took it.

Outside the kitchen door, Natasha let her head fall back against the wall, careful not to make a sound. Her eyes were glassy, but she would **not** let the tears fall.

They’d argued, she and Barnes, over who should be the one to go in. It could only be one of them. Both would have spooked Ana for sure.

In the end, Bucky won by saying simply that he looked enough like her brother to make her feel a bit more comfortable, if anything would. All of them could see that Ana wasn’t functioning well in Nik’s absence. Wanda and Pietro understood, had agreed with Bucky, and so Natasha had given in.

It hurt, though. It hurt to stand silently outside the door and listen, when all she wanted was to barge in, pull the daughter she’d never known into her arms and hold her tight, promise that Mama would never let anybody hurt her again.

**Translations - Russian**

_nebol'shoy popugay_ = lovebird


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lili's true nature is revealed and Nik finds out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied smut is in this chapter, read at your own risk.

Lilli carefully peeled Nik’s arm away from her body, thankful that he always fell asleep quickly. She didn’t bother to conceal her expression of disgust. _Makes things simpler, at least. Since when did HYDRA agents become so weak and clingy? ‘Specially trained’ my ass._

She stooped down to retrieve her clothes. He’d been more frantic than usual, not that Lilli minded; it made her job more interesting, and more enjoyable. He was, at least, good at **that**. She didn’t bother to put her boots back on; leaving Nik’s quarters partially dressed was a common enough occurrence for her that no one looked twice, anymore. She walked in peaceful silence until Stewarts passed her in the hall.

“Hey, Pierce. Boss wants you,” the woman said, wiggling her dark brown eyebrows.

Lilli barely refrained from rolling her eyes. Emily Stewarts was a new agent, and it showed: she was far too open, completely undisciplined. It didn't matter. She would learn with time, or she would find out how HYDRA treated failures.

She took a detour, winding her way through the base until she arrived at Ward's office. She’d barely finished knocking when the door swung open. She stepped in and closed the door. "Grant," she sang, "I have information for you."

“Took you long enough.” He walked back to his desk, smirking. “Losing your touch?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “It may be cliche, but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, Grant. These things can’t be rushed.”

“And you’re HYDRA’s finest honey trap,” Ward drawled, leaning back against the desk and folding his arms.

“Of course,” Lilli turned the key in the lock and sauntered toward him, letting her hips sway, slowly unbuttoning her blouse. “You like a little honey yourself, don’t you, Director?”

He licked his lips, looking down at her. “Information first,” he demanded, though not without a regretful sigh. “Pleasure later.”

Lilli chuckled, letting her hands drop.”My little assignment lied to you. Anastasia isn't gathering intel; she's been compromised.”

Ward’s eyes darkened, and he straightened, jaw tightening. “How?” he bit out. “That shouldn’t be possible.”

“The Scarlet Witch. According to Nikolai, she meddled with Anastasia’s mind.” She hid a smile, turning her face away as she began to tidy her Nik-mussed hair. “That ideal operative you trained is...gone. At the very least, she has lost her perfection,” Lilli answered.

“Scarlet Witch. That must be how they kept the Asset, too.” he muttered. “Damn!”

“It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. There's still time to get her back. Surely they haven't weeded out all the control phrases," she murmured, smoothing her hands over his shoulders. She knew it would be no use; when Grant Ward was pissed, he was **pissed**.

“Even if they had,” Grant mused thoughtfully, “we still have an ace up our sleeve. They might be able to break her programming, but they’ll never break her connection to Nik. Even we didn’t manage that.”

“There's no telling what Nikolai will do. He's lost without her. Very...clingy,” she said, laughing.

“If we keep him under control, Ana will come looking for him. Then we can take her back. I can break her again.” Grant shrugged. “You’ll just need to manage the boy. You think you can handle that?” One dark eyebrow raised in pure condescension.

Lilli smirked. “I think you already know **that** answer, Director.” Stepping closer to him, she opened the last few buttons of her top. “I keep Nikolai **very** satisfied. I can’t say that he does the same for me, though.”

“No?” Ward unfolded his arms at last, reached out for her as the blouse fell to the floor. “We can’t have that. I want my employees to be happy in their work.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Nik woke to an empty bed, and shoved the fleeting surge of disappointment to the back of his mind. It wasn't the first time. It wouldn't be the last. He rose from the bed and dressed quickly, mechanically, mentally organizing his day. After such a botched mission, there would be paperwork to do, even for an agent like him; he should track down Rollins and find out what that charade in the debrief had been about; and he would need to begin planning Ana’s rescue.

He stopped dead in the middle of yanking on his left boot, gritting his teeth and fighting the sudden hot prickle behind his eyes. He wasn’t like Ana, content to treat his emotions as foreign and unnecessary objects, but this maelstrom of guilt, hurt, frustration… every time his thoughts touched on Ana it surged to the fore, and he found himself frozen in pain and indecision.

It was **not** the way of things. He was a trained agent, the best asset HYDRA had left. Such a thing should hardly incapacitate him. And yet… He yanked the boot on, tying the laces with jerky motions, and slammed out of the room. He would look for Rollins first: he needed a distraction, badly.

Nik found his distraction in the main gym, in the shape of Rumlow and Rollins sparring together. He stood outside the mat area for a moment, watching the two men with critical eyes until they broke apart and Rumlow beckoned him over.

“It ain’t a spectator sport, Ivanov. Get your ass over here, let’s see how soft you’ve gotten.”

“I can take you any day, old man,” Nik growled, but he didn’t bother to hide the affection in his tone, and a small smile touched his lips.

“Yeah? Well, then, how about you try Jack? Been a long while since you two went at it,” Rumlow shot back, grinning and gesturing to the bigger man.

Nik recognized the sly arch to Rumlow’s eyebrows but shrugged anyway, clapping his hands together and ignoring the man’s crude innuendo. He wanted a distraction, but his brain was too tangled to trade barbs along with blows. “Sure, why not?” He stepped off to the side and wrapped his hands with boxing tape before stepping onto the mat.

Nik mirrored Rollins as he stepped back into his stance, eyes following Rumlow as he stepped away from the mat.

“Gonna leave me hanging all day, Rollins?” Nik huffed before ducking his head from a swing, feeling the swoop of Rollins’ arm just narrowly grazing his head. _That was too close. Focus!_

“Get your head outta the clouds, Ivanov!” Rumlow barked. Nik grunted, side-stepping Rollins’ jab, throwing a left handed punch. He pulled an arm up in time, jumping back as Rollins rolled into a ball as Nik attempted to kick his feet out. His mind blocking out Rumlow’s sharp criticisms, analyzing. He circled, mirroring Rollins, then feinted to the left as Rollins jumped forward. Nik grinned; no **way** Rollins could beat him, he was too good for the old man. That was, until Rollins nailed him with an elbow to the gut.

“Losin’ your touch, pretty boy? Sure your sister could beat your ass,” Rollins taunted.

Nik stumbled back, clutching his gut. He leapt back just in time to avoid another punch, breath coming hard. “At least I came back,” he growled. He missed Ana, he missed her **so bad**. Her absence left what felt like a fire burning through his heart. What good was he as an assassin if he couldn’t control his emotions?

Too fast to block, Rollins’ knee came up, sweeping Nik’s legs out from under him, Rollins’ arm braced against the younger man’s chest. “What’re you talking about?”

Nik’s breath came fast as he stared up at the gym ceiling. _Shit. This is **bad**. Everything is so fucked._ “The witch...she messed with Ana’s mind.. My sister told me to leave,” he panted between breaths.

Rumlow and Rollins shared a look before Rumlow let out a sigh. “Let him up, Jack. It’s time he knew the truth.”

“The truth?” Nik scoffed. “What the hell are you talking about?” He shoved Rollins off when the older man let him up.

Instead of answering, Rumlow continued. “Jack, tell Ward we’re taking Nik off-site. Survival training, tell him we’ll keep in touch.”

~~~~~~~~~

“Sit down, kid. Being scowly and pacing ain’t gonna help,” Rumlow said as he opened the cabin door.

Nik rolled his eyes and crossed the open room to the aged couch. Rollins was still outside, parking the SUV out of sight. They were in the middle of nowhere; the closest town was Chilliwack, and that was at least a couple hours away. “You said we’d talk once we were here. Now, what the **fuck** is going on?”

Much to Nik’s irritation, Rumlow wouldn’t talk until Rollins joined them. “Your sister is in the best place she can be.”

He couldn’t believe it; Rumlow was just going to let the bastards warp Ana? “Like hell she is! That Sokovian bitch took my sister.”

Rollins laughed. “Funny, ‘that Sokovian bitch’ is your family, last I checked.”

“Nik, they **freed** her, helped her to see the truth. Just like what we’re trying to do now,” Rumlow said, passing a tablet to the younger agent.

Nik sped through the data; not as fast as Ana could’ve, but still faster than the average human. “What,” he scoffed, “You expect me to believe our mother is **Natasha Romanov**?” He tossed the tablet to the wooden floor, ignoring the thought itching at the back of his mind that Ana was eerily similar to her. _Of course she is_ , he told himself, _she was **designed** to be_.

“And your father is James Barnes, the Winter Soldier,” Rumlow replied with a nod. “You and your sister are part of Project New Dawn: improving upon past assets by creating newer, shinier, improved-upon replacements.”

“Bullshit,” Nik snarled. “Even if I believed you-”

“Have we ever lied to you?” Rollins asked, voice low. Nik snapped his mouth shut, swallowing hard as a memory floated to the top of his mind.

_“This isn’t going to be easy, Nikolai. You know what’s about to start.”_

_“I will be the perfect soldier.” Nik spoke quietly._

_“And that won’t be easy.” Rumlow dropped a warm hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to be tired, sore, frustrated. You’re going to hurt. You’re going to hate us. But we won’t ever do something that doesn’t need to be done, and we won’t lie to you. Might not tell you everything; but I won’t lie, and Jack won’t either.”_

Nik shivered, glancing uneasily at the tablet on the floor, and swallowed again. “ If it’s true… we’re nothing more than HYDRA’s attack dogs,” he said, ending in a growl. “How long have you known?”

“Ever since you wrapped your little hand around my thumb as a newborn,” Rumlow said. “I knew in my gut that what HYDRA was doing is **wrong**.”

“You’ve known all this time?” Nik ground out. Before he knew it, he was lunging for Rumlow, pure rage overtaking him. He was only stopped by Rollins and was flipped onto his back, boot in the middle of his chest.

“We have to pick our battles, kid. Brock and I did our best to keep you and Ana safe. We fought tooth and nail to keep Ana with us, but Garrett and Ward won out in the end,” Rollins said.

“What?” Nik asked. “What do you mean they ‘won out’?”

“You remember how much Ana had changed when she came back two years ago? Pretty different than the scared thirteen year old that left,” Rumlow said. “You’re smart, Nik. Put two and two together. You know deep down he didn’t just teach her espionage. What else is your mother known for?”

Nik froze. “No. You don’t mean-”

“I’m afraid he does, kid. Ward’s a monster, one we intend to put down, once and for all. Are you in?” Rollins asked, slowly easing up on the pressure of his boot. “Ward **will** pay for this, Nikolai. All of them will. After all of this is done, we’ll find Ana, leave all this behind, build a new life.”

Nik slowly sat up before reaching out a hand, gesturing to be helped up. “I don’t owe HYDRA anything. I want to find Ana, get away from all this. If it means getting my hands dirty...well, I’ve done it before.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big apology for the wait! I'm publishing these chapters as i finish them, so I sorry for taking so long.

“What’re you doin’ up, kid?”

Nik looked up from his position on the couch. He’d spent the last few hours poring over everything he could find on the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow. What he found… it wasn’t pretty. “Figuring out the truth,” he said, setting the tablet down. The screen showed black and white footage of the Winter Soldier’s memories being wiped. It made sense, now, why he had never been given missions with the man; their resemblance would be suspicious.

Rollins sighed and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. “I told you it wouldn’t be sunshine and roses.”

Nik closed his eyes, trying to process the data from all the files and surveillance clips he had seen. “Why only us?” he asked.

Rollins frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“In the Red Room, there were twenty-eight girls trained. In Project New Dawn, there was only me and Ana. Why? I get that HYDRA wanted to create better versions of the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow, but why stop at one copy of each? I don’t get it.”

“It never made sense to me either. Best guess? Easier cleanup if things went south. Two failed experiments are easier to cover up than twenty-eight.” His words were casual, but the slight growl to his voice belied his tone.

“We need to get moving. Ward isn’t stupid enough to think we’re on a training mission,” Nik said as he opened his eyes. _Damn bastard is gonna pay for what he’s done to my sister._

“We have a week, tops. He’ll start checking in after that. Come looking, if he’s desperate,” Rumlow said from the doorway. Even leaning against the doorframe and the tone in his voice casual, Rumlow’s presence demanded respect. Nik wasn’t quite sure what it was; perhaps it was just the years of being under his training. “Relax, Nik. This ain’t HYDRA.” Rumlow gave him a knowing look, and Nik let out a sigh; he hadn’t even realized he’d been tense until his shoulders relaxed.

Rollins nodded. “No titles. We’re equals, Nik.”

How was he to choose what to do? **What** would he do? He couldn’t carry on as he had been, he knew that much, but what would he be? What would Ana be?

“Okay,” was all he said, all he could say with his mind racing.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you, ma’am.” Nik let a slight accent slip into his voice, giving the woman behind the counter an easygoing smile as he grabbed his bag of groceries with one hand and stuffed his wallet in his pocket with the other. It was easy being Michael Anderson, a young man from a small town in North Dakota. Michael Anderson was harmless, well-liked. Michael Anderson wasn’t a killer.

“No problem, sweetheart. Come back any time!” she called after him. Even as he stepped out the door, he didn’t let the easygoing expression leave his face. Voices caught his attention as he walked down the street, coming from a narrow alleyway on his left.. 

“Where d’you think you’re going?” The voice was definitely male, though young. _Early teens,_ his brain supplied.

“”N-nowhere…” The weaker voice was also male, though a little softer, maybe younger.

Before he knew it, Nik was walking toward a group of four boys. The owner of the first voice was standing over a younger boy, meaty fists clenched, a nasty smirk on his face. Two grinning boys flanked him.

“What d‘you think you’re doing?” Nik said, crossing his arms, careful not to let the accent slip.

“No big deal. Just playin’ around,” one of the bully’s friends said.

Nik raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really?” He let his mouth curve into a soft smile. “I could’ve sworn I heard you pickin’ on him.” Nik looked at the boy on the ground, smile fading away. The kid looked scared out his mind, but there was a tiny bit of dawning hope in his expression as he met Nik’s gaze. Nik gave him a small, reassuring nod, even as the three bullies turned to face the new threat. He’d already assessed them and dismissed them as no threat; just kids, maybe thirteen or so, these three big for their age but no match for him in any case.

He pinned the offenders with an angry stare. “I don’t like bullies. Now, you three are gonna run on home to your mommas and leave my friend here be. You got that?”

“Fuck off, ain’t none of your business!” the lead bully said, taking a swing for Nik, a loose, clumsy punch that wouldn’t have hurt even if it had connected.

Nik sighed and gently caught the kid’s fist,  kicking his feet out from under him with an easy swing of his leg. Nik followed the kid to the ground, twisting the boy’s arm-- just enough to hurt-- and kneeling down to whisper in his ear. “Take this as a lesson, kid. Don’t bully people smaller than you; don’t pick fights with people bigger than you.”

He let go of the boy and stood, arching an eyebrow at him as he scrambled to his feet, backing up to stand with his two friends. “Scram,” he growled, and let a small smile cross his face as the kids ran off, scared out of their mind, jostling in their panic to escape. Dumb, but smart enough to know they were well and truly outmatched.

“Who **are** you?” the kid on the ground asked, staring up at Nik in awe.

“Call me Mike. What about you?” Nik reached for the boy, helping him up. He felt sorry for him; the kid was disheveled, skinny, probably poor from the shabby state of his clothes and worn-out trainers. What caught Nik’s attention, though, was the look in his eyes. He was determined, even though he knew he would’ve lost against the three older boys.

“Zack Wilke,” the kid replied, running a hand through his short blond hair, peering up at Nik. “You’re not just a guy from North Dakota are you?” At Nik’s surprised look, Zack grinned. “You hear things when no one cares if you’re there.”

“You got me,” Nik laughed, trying to sound casual. He was pretty sure the kid wasn’t going to go blabbing around about a stranger who saved his ass, though. “Coast Guard.” He cleared his throat. “Now let's get you home, Zack. Your momma know where you’ve been?”

Zack clenched his jaw. “Don’t got a mom,” he said. 

“Can I walk you home? Make sure those punks don’t bother you no more.”

“Okay,” Zach said with a shrug and started walking towards the outskirts of town.

Nik gave Zack an encouraging smile. Something made him see a small part of himself in Zack, and Nik clung to that. Maybe he could somehow save the kid from a rough life. “You’re a foster kid, aren’t you? I was too.”

Zack looked up at him, alarmed. 

“Hey, calm down. It’s in the body language, kid,” Nik said. “I went to my last family when I was about your age, if I remember right. Good people, but they never made it official.”

“Why didn’t they?” Zack asked, kicking at a piece of gravel as they stood there.

“Not enough money. Fostered with three other kids. My sister for a few weeks, a set of twins for a couple years,” Nik said. He surprised himself with that information; he hadn’t meant to say it, it just slipped out. _Careful,_ he reminded himself. 

“What happened to your sister?” Zack looked up at him.

“Adopted,” Nik said, making himself smile. “Cute little redheaded girl or a troublesome punk? Didn’t stand a chance.”

“Did the twins get adopted?”

Nik shook his head. “Nah. Aged out,” he said. “You got any foster siblings?”

Zack shook his head. “No. Parents aren’t bad. It’s just...I don’t like it. Dunno why.”

Nik nodded. “I get that. Gotta find a good fit.”

Zack stopped in front of a decent-sized house, looking up at it. “This is it.”

Nik smiled. “All right then. I’ll see you around, Zack.”

Zack grinned and waved at Nik before going inside.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What took you so long? I’m starving,” Rollins grumbled from the couch as Nik walked into the cabin.

“Excuse me for being a good person,” Nik grumbled, without heat.

“What, you meet a pretty girl in town?” Rumlow laughed at his own joke as he rummaged through the grocery bag Nik handed him.

Nik snorted. “Scared some punks half to death, walked a kid home,” he said, propping a hip up on the back on the couch.

Rumlow ruffled Nik’s hair, which had been bleached to a sandy blond a few days before. He doubted anyone in town would’ve recognized **him,** but his father’s face was recognizable. The anonymity was worth the annoyance. “Careful, or you’ll **become** Mike Anderson!” 

“Very funny.” Nik swatted at Rumlow as he walked away. “When’s Ward’s check-in coming?”

“Sometime tomorrow morning, probably,” Rollins said as he stretched.

Nik nodded; that sounded about right. The next day would be the eighth away from base. Ward would want to know how his training was progressing, if he was stupid enough to believe their stated reasons for this trip. 

If not…

Either way, they needed to get ready for what was coming.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ana meets Sam for the first time.

Ana hovered in the hall leading to the kitchen, torn between listening to the conversation between the Captain and the new arrival -- _Steve and Sam, use their names_ \-- and disappearing into the depths of the house. Sam Wilson wasn’t the first unexpected visitor to the house, and she didn’t feel the same overwhelming urge to hide that she’d given into the few times Iron Man -- **Stark** \-- showed up, but still…

“He’s pretty harmless, as Steve’s friends go,” a warm voice murmured in her ear. Ana clenched every muscle in her body to keep from jumping. Days at the farm still hadn’t accustomed her to someone being **even sneakier** than Ana herself. She took a deep breath, not turning towards the Wid-- Natash-- her mother-- **Natasha**.

“I’ve seen the footage of that mess in D.C.. I wouldn’t call that **harmless**. And anyway, it’s not just him. It’s just…getting so crowded. I don’t like it.” _I don’t like feeling watched every moment of the day, either_ , she thought, but it wasn’t worth saying. It was better treatment than HYDRA would give any one of these people, if the situation were reversed.

Natasha stepped into Ana’s field of vision, a soft and inscrutable smile on her face, and she had the irritating feeling that the woman knew what she was thinking anyway.

“Do you need to step out?” Natasha asked.

It was a simple enough question, but it relaxed Ana. Whenever visitors had came by, she had almost always gone for a walk before meeting them.

Ana only nodded before taking a deep breath and slipping out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

“She’s skittish, Sam.” Natasha said as the door swung shut. “She’s in a bad place.”

“What do you mean?”  His eyes followed Ana’s movements until she slipped into the barn. From the few quick glances he’d managed, Ana was the spitting image of Natasha. Except she was so quiet, so fearful; still, it was hard not to project his fearless image of Natasha upon her.

 HYDRA tried to replicate their success and eliminate the drawbacks.” Natasha leaned back against the wall, arms folded across her chest.

“I’m not following, Romanoff. What are you getting at?”

Natasha smiled ruefully. “Me, Sam. They turned her into a new Black Widow. One that wouldn’t betray them.”

Sam’s eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed. That was new.

“How?” _‘In a bad place’ has got to be the understatement of the century._ He glanced out the window at the closed barn. _She’s got to be going stir-crazy here_ , he thought. He least, he thought **he** would be. After spending her life as an attack dog for HYDRA to order about as they pleased, quiet, monotonous days on the farm would be horrible for her.

“We’re not sure, but the conditioning -- it’s bad.”

Sam nodded. “I could help, if she’s up for it. I know it’s not exactly my expertise, but bringing outsiders in would be a recipe for disaster. Do you think she would want to talk?”

“It’d be best to let me take the lead: she’s not comfortable around new people,” Natasha replied after a few moments of quiet. She pushed off the wall and opened the door.

He nodded. There wasn’t too much of a rush, they should take their time and do this right. _Here goes nothing,_ he thought as he followed after her.

As the barn door swung open,  Sam stepped back to let Natasha in first. It was the better choice, it would give Ana a warning and time to prepare herself. He kept his hands to his sides and looked about a bit before she came back out and told him it was okay to enter.

Ana was crouched over Barton’s dog, petting it. He thought she hadn’t noticed him, until she straightened up and turned toward them.

 _Holy shit…_ Ana looked like Natasha, but Sam **definitely** wasn’t prepared for how **young** she was. He was never the best judge of age, but she couldn’t be out of her teens, early twenties at the absolute most. Now that they were together, he could see tiny differences between Ana and Nat. Ana’s hair was a slightly darker red, though not by much.

“Hi, Ana.” he said. “I’m Sam. It’s nice to meet you.” He offered her a friendly smile, and kept his arms to his sides, his hands open and palms facing towards her. He didn’t step any closer, though. Certainly not with that glare she had fixed upon him.

“They’ve told you all about me by now.” It wasn’t a question. She was a professional. He worked with professionals; it might be better to get the little formalities out of the way. It was simpler that way, more straightforward.

He raised an eyebrow as Natasha silently left. “Some,” he allowed. He lowered himself onto a nearby hay bale with a groan, reached out to let his fingers sink into Lucky’s fur as the dog eagerly came to him.

He did his best not to be amused as she stomped around the barn, then stopped at the far side of the barn to scowl at the rain coming down hard outside. There were people like that, who just needed an outlet of some sort. It was best to let them pace a bit, get a bit more comfortable before really engaging them.

“So what **did** they tell you about me then?” she asked. He didn’t react as she flapped her arms around in meaningless gestures when her words failed her. Frustration, helplessness. Perhaps she was allowing herself to feel those emotions freely for the first time.

Sam took his time in looking at her. “That you’re scared, and lost, and that maybe you need someone to talk to.”

Ana came to a stop. “I’m not scared,” she said quietly, like she didn’t believe herself. Sam wouldn’t push her to talk. She seemed like the type of person that wouldn’t take kindly to force, not on something so personal.

But she **was** scared. No matter the amount of training she had received, she was still human. Everyone was scared at some point.

She eventually sat on a haybale across from him. “I’m...nervous about what will happen to me. My brother too.”

Sam nodded. “We could talk about him instead?” He kept his voice gentle.

“I don’t have to talk to you,” she said. “You’re not my therapist.” She wasn’t angry, just stating facts.

“You’re right, I’m not. I’m just here to be a friend.” He softened his gaze, wanting to project trust and sympathy. He wanted her to trust him; he had the feeling she didn’t trust anyone else she’d been in contact with, not really. “Just to listen.”

She sat silent for a couple minutes, her fingers twisting in Lucky’s fur. It seemed as if she were listening to the pitter-patter sound of the rain on the roof. That was a sound that calmed people, he found. He liked to keep a few such recordings in his office for when he saw some of the vets that came by. Some of them liked it, some didn’t. It seemed to calm Ana. “I always thought Nik was the one who couldn’t function without me.”

Ana looked at Sam. He would not speak now. This was something that she would have to get off her chest, it would be easier for her to get everything out if she felt she could move at her own pace, unprompted. “We would get our mission. I would devise our plan. It would be carried out perfectly, apart from the occasional improvisation on his part. We would head back to base after covering our tracks. I always thought I was the stronger one, taking charge.”

It was like a waterfall, the words were flowing from her mouth. Sam knew what that was like, to speak and speak and speak, sometimes with meaning, sometimes without, but to need to speak and get everything out. “But I don’t think I would’ve been strong enough to walk away from Nik if he told me to leave him behind. Like I did to him.”

He watched her as she paused, breathing in and out. The rain slowed and finally petered to a halt before she was fully calm. Still it might be best if he waited just a little bit longer, to see how she was doing. Calm was sometimes a transient state, left too long and she might descend into melancholy, but if he went at her immediately, he might get her defensive or angry. It was best to wait a little bit, just to let her enjoy the calm for a few moments. He wished the rain continued for a little bit though, it _was_ a soothing sound.

“It’s okay to be upset, to be angry. You can even be angry with your brother,” he said, finally. He sensed that she had calmed a bit more now, was a bit steadier. He could prompt a bit now, see what she was thinking, how she was reacting. He could get a better feel for her this way.

“Why would you think I’d be angry at him?” She tilted her head to one side.

“Because he left you here alone. I know you told him to leave but he could have refused,” he replied. He noted Ana’s quizzical expression, the idea that she’d be angry at her brother seemed to be foreign to her.

They sat in silence once again. He watched her, whatever Red Room-esque training she might’ve been through, it didn’t show now, she was open and vulnerable. He wondered what might be going through her mind right now. Was she considering each interaction, working through each action and thought that she had in these past few days? What was their previous relationship like?

Ana had gone through experiences that were beyond the capacity of normal humans to bear, and somehow she had survived them. How different was she, how attached might she be to the sibling that went through it all with her? How might any thought of betrayal affect her now?

“He was my best friend. The only one I could trust with my life, with the few secrets I was allowed,” Ana said. Sam noticed she visibly fought back tears, but a few slipped past.

“You’re talking like your brother’s dead,” he pointed out.

“He might be,” she said. “HYDRA doesn’t accept failure. If he isn’t dead, he’s being punished. When they’re done, he won’t be Nik anymore. So yes, the Nik I knew and-- and loved--”

Sam was suddenly reminded of how Bucky used to be. It had been different issues but similar at the core - hopelessness. Decisions and things that they had said and done, all unable to change them. But Ana’s situation wasn’t as hopeless as Bucky’s had been.  “You still can change it, you know.”

“How?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper. “Even if he isn’t dead, he’s changed. He won’t be my brother.”

Sam sighed. “Let’s assume he’s dead, for argument’s sake. You can still choose to do good. HYDRA could be conditioning other children the same way they did you and your brother. Am I wrong in thinking you would do anything you could to stop that from happening?”

Ana looked down. “I can’t do anything here. They say I’m not being held prisoner, but I am. If I go outside, someone has to come with me. They watch me eat, watch me sleep. I can’t access phones or computers, thanks to this contraption of Stark’s.” It wasn’t until then that Sam noticed the metal ring around her left wrist.

“They don’t know if they can trust you yet. Can you blame them?” He paused. “Did HYDRA ever completely trust new recruits?”

“I want to help,” she said. “I told Captain Rogers that when I agreed to cooperate.”

Sam smiled. “There’s a difference between ‘help’ and ‘cooperation’. Bad guys might cooperate, but the good guys help out,” he said.

“It would be easier to tell the difference with someone on my side.” Out of anyone else’s mouth it would have been flirtatious, but the way Ana looked at him was nothing but wary, cautious optimism.

“I could be on your side, Ana,” Sam said gently. He held his hand out to her. “Come on back to the house."

She hesitated for several long, silent moments before slipping her hand into his. It felt strong, steady, like a lifeline she could cling to, as he led her out of the barn and back up to the house where she would have to decide what to do next.


End file.
